Where Christian parents learn from, grow with, and encourage one another.

Children are to be seen and not heard?

One of the hurdles to Group Life is figuring out what to do with our children. Should they stay or should they go? Do we include or exclude them? How do we handle discipline issues as a group? Is it any wonder why some say, “Better seen and not heard” then send the kids to the basement and plug in VeggieTales?

There are many ways we can engage our entire family in the Group Experience. Here are some practical ways to make it happen for your group:

Set realistic goals. Don’t expect preschoolers to be able to sit perfectly still. Allow some space for them to move around. Give them something to do that relates to the lesson. It is okay if your teens don’t talk… that’s normal.

Involve kids in service. Preteens are looking for a purpose in life. Give them a job. Have them assist the host or ask them to help with service projects or even reading the bible aloud.

Get feedback. Take time to listen to the perspectives of the children in your family group. Allow them to answer or relate the answer to something they are familiar with. For example, something they heard on TV or a favorite game.

Have a flexible plan. Include everyone in the group experience. Plan your lesson/discussion around the ages, if possible. If you have teens in the room, ask them to participate. Again, don’t force it. The idea is to create opportunities to connect.

Take a time out. Allow the kids to move to another room if they become distracted. If behavior becomes an issue, allow families some private space to talk things out. Discussing this in advance can head off lots of tension for young families.

Start small. It is okay to plan the group experience around the attention span of the kids. Spend the first 15 minutes with the children in the room, allow them to go play, and then close the group time with everyone back together. Keep it simple!

When we involve the whole family in our study and prayer time everyone wins. This is where we model community life and cultivate deeper family connections.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on other ways to get families connected during your small group time.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Heather Rainey on May 28, 2009 at 10:19pm: I really like this post! The biggest obstacle in the way of my husband and I joining a group together is childcare. We simply do not have any babysitters. The second issue is time, many of the groups are in the late evening and end well past our daughters bedtime. I really like the idea of hiring one or two people to babysit all the kids in the group ( assuming the kids are too young to participate in the group). Then all the parents could bring the kids with them and the kids could play under the supervision of the hired babysitter while the parents have their class in the other room. Each family could donate a few dollars a week to helo cover the cost. Or each family in the group could take turns being the "babysitter"..... I also like the idea of starting the group with the kids involved. Start with a kid friendly devotion and then the kids can go play with the babysitter while the parents study in depth. That way the kids get the feel for bible study and know that mom and dad really are learning about God and not just hanging out with friends.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Michael Chanley on June 3, 2009 at 11:33pm: Thanks for your feedback, Heather!

Heather Rainey said:
I really like this post! The biggest obstacle in the way of my husband and I joining a group together is childcare. We simply do not have any babysitters. The second issue is time, many of the groups are in the late evening and end well past our daughters bedtime. I really like the idea of hiring one or two people to babysit all the kids in the group ( assuming the kids are too young to participate in the group). Then all the parents could bring the kids with them and the kids could play under the supervision of the hired babysitter while the parents have their class in the other room. Each family could donate a few dollars a week to helo cover the cost. Or each family in the group could take turns being the "babysitter"..... I also like the idea of starting the group with the kids involved. Start with a kid friendly devotion and then the kids can go play with the babysitter while the parents study in depth. That way the kids get the feel for bible study and know that mom and dad really are learning about God and not just hanging out with friends.; ▶ Reply to This